Friday, September 20, 2019

Dear Adik-adikku si kaki empat


Tempoh hari aku call mak aku .

"Ngah, kembar dah xde!"

"Yang mana ?"

"Stokin..."

Aku diam . 

Kembar the kittens in consist of 4 ekor ; 3 Kembar , 1 color hitam.
Unfortunately yang hitam dah xde. Then, followed by one of the kembar Akut (penakut).

Tiada air mata yang jatuh, tapi internally i was crying out loud . Poor my little cat.

After we hang up , my heart ached .



After a while , i was busy with first week of my university . I was occupied 
with my timetable , with my routine , so i was not be able 
to call my mom after the last time we talk .


"Helloo Assalamualaikum " I said.

"Waalaikummusalam. Makan dah ke ? "

"Dah..."

"Ngah, Micai dah xde."

NOOOOO , WAITTTTT !!!! WHAT !!!! 
I'M NOT READY YET FOR THIS . 

My Micai the Charlie Chaplin . You will always be missed .

AHHHHH i can't hold my tears anymore .




Aku teringat Mocha, adikku si kaki empat yang aku sendiri cangkul kuburnya,
angkat dan tanam.

2 weeks sebelum Mocha mati , dia asyikkkkk baringgggg , tak makan .
Tak nampak macam biasa.
Tak keluar rumah .
Cicak ada berhampiran dengannya dihiraukan.
Tidak seperti kebiasaan di mana dialah antara Hero-hero yang
akan tangkap cicak dalam rumah.


Keadaan melarat for a few days , 
mak suruh aku bawak adikku si kaki empat ke Vet .
Dr kata demam , should be fine after a few days.

After a few days , nothing change, Mocha still tak makan,terbaring
 sekejap atas sofa,
sekejap depan pintu rumah,
sekejap di dapur,
sekejap di pintu bilik abang,
sekejap di hadapan pintu tandas,
sampai aku rasa serba salah kalau nak masuk tandas sebab kene alih Mocha.

Kali ini Mocha hanya terbaring berhampiran tandas sahaja ,
tidak bergerak,
nafas nya laju,
tatkala kami panggil namanya , 
dia masih menyahut ,

Pagi itu, aku pegang badan Mocha ,
kurus , sangatttt kurus .
Masuk dalam bakul , terus drive pergi Vet  (not the same vet yang aku pergi),

Masa aku drive , aku bukak penutup bakul , 
senang untuk aku check keadaan Mocha ,
Masih terbaring,
Nafas Mocha laju naik turun.

Vet kali ini kata Mocha dehydrated .



Masuk dalam kereta aku panggil Mocha .
Dia masih menyahut.

Sampai dirumah,
aku angkat Mocha lepak di tempat biase dia baring lepas aku kasi makan .

Seketika kemudian , Mocha bising-bising .
Rupanya semut penuh dekat mulut Mocha sebab ada sisa makanan.
Aku angkat Mocha , lap mulutnya sambil kata .

"Alaaa siannnya Mocha " 
Tuh je aku mampu sebut weh time tuh,

Petang tuh, Mak aku angkat Mocha nak kasi makan.
Lepas kasi makan 

"Ngah, mak rasa Mocha dah tak lama!"

"Ehhh tak lahhh mak , Dr kata Mocha Dehydrated je !"

Mak angkat Mocha .

"Ngah, Mocha dah tak de lah.Dia tak bernafas pun!"

"TAKKKK LAAA MATA DIAA TERBUKAKK TUHH , tengok tuh ,mata dia bukak lagi"

Aku datang dekat dengan badan Mocha , aku tak sentuh , aku hanya lihat .
Betul kata Mak , Mocha dah xbernafas 

"Mocha~ Mocha" 

Aku panggil dengan harapan dia akan menyahut macam pagi tadi.
Mocha dah xde :')

Aku masuk bilik .
Pakai hoodie ,tudung, nak pegi cangkul tanah ,
tanam Mocha.

Masa nak keluar , aku ingatkan diri .
"Jangan nangis , kuat ! kuat ! kuat ! fuhhh ! Bismillah "

Aku patah balik masuk bilik , 
My tears were streaming down my face .

Selalunya Ayah yang akan tanam adik-adikku si kaki empat yang dah mati.
Mak, Aku dan adik-beradik xsanggup nak tanam.
Tapi Ayah aku tiada kat rumah masa itu 

Waktu tika itu menghampiri maghrib , 
aku wiped my tears away,

Aku keluar bilik ,
pergi ruang tamu ,
jasad Mocha masih dalam kotak di ruang tamu.
Tika itu aku perasan tiada orang di ruang tamu , 
rupanya mak kat dapur .
Adik aku, Aina dengan Danial dekat luar rumah.
Aku tahu dorang menangis ! 

Aku angkat kotak yang ada Mocha dalam tu .

Aku biarkan air mata aku mengalir.

Aku cangkul .
Air mata aku kering , sebab cangkul tuh berat.

Siap cangkul ,
aku jalan ke arah jasad Mocha .

Nangis.

Aku angkat Mocha . 
'Ya Allah kurus nya kau Mocha ' 

Perlahan aku angkat jasad Mocha 
masuk ke dalam tanah yang sudah aku cangkul tadi .

Nangis lagi .

After a while , aku tanam Mocha.

Mocha , lembut perwatakannya , nakalnya sikit sahaja.
Biarpun dia jantan , meow diaaa sangat lembuttt.

Adik-adikku si kaki empat , sayang aku pada kalian sama macam sayang seorang kakak
kepada adik-adiknya. Moga kalian menjadi saham akhirat buat kami sekeluarga.

Aku selalu wonder ,kenapa orang nangis kucing dia hilang, mati ?
Now,i know . 
They more than a cat , they are family.






I'm grateful that Allah send them to my family and I .










Thursday, August 15, 2019

Dear Amirah

Dear Amirah ,


i am writing this to you because i believe someday you going to come back to this blog.
You wanna go back down to memory lane , sooo sentimental meh this gurl. Amirah , just incase you feeling sad while reading this post , hey head up gurl , you did great , insyallah everything going to be fine . 

Unless you are sad because you don't have enough time to study because of procrastinate  ,well i can't help ! hahahahah serve your right lahhh suka buat kerja last minute . But hey ! you always nailed it ! wipe your tears and fighting !!!!

Amirah , remember when you were a kids , you always wanted to be a doctor . You thought be a doctor was a coollll occupation . Well, actually you just love seeing them wearing their white coat . You found out that you are scared of blood , you sacred to cucuk orang , you afraid that you might hurt people . It was your turning point that change your ambition , then you said you wanted to be a TEACHER ! 

Remembered when you received your SPM result ? You cried a lottttttttttttttttttttttt bit . You had all the 'if i ....' thought in your mind played all day long. You scared of your future , you scared being an adult hahahhaha . Now you are adult Amirah , you are a grown up woman !  Alhamdullilah , Allah always have a better story for YOU . See ,you now study at School of Educational Studies . Road to become a future EDUCATOR . 

Amirah , i always there for you , I know that you are capable of facing any challenges . If you fall down ,reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy deeeep down there , get up ! We can climb up together ! 

Amirah , never forget our mission , vision and dreamssssssssss. Once you settle down all your wish lists , let's pack our bag and see the world . I can't wait to taddabur alam with you . Till we meet again in the future Wan Amirah Anis ! 

LOVE ,
Wan Amirah Anis in maybe 5-10 years from now !

Monday, June 24, 2019

EXTRA Tiberr : I DEDICATED THIS POST TO YOU


Assalamualaikum and hi .
Let's go straight to the content .
okay.


 last year , i wrote a post .
But i did not post it because i did not have a content at all.
It was empty and all i wrote just .

'Assalamualaikum 
and hi'

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA .

I think i still remember the reasons why i wrote that.
okay so basically , that post was dedicated to a person who have become part of my journey, 
part of my stories that i treasured soooooo muchhhhhhhhh.

To a person that always have a special part in my heart and mind too.
To a person that i do not want to lose.

To a person that give me all kind of feelings .

To a person that always encourage me , said that i can do more .
Prove me wrong about myself.

To a person that i always grateful to have .

To a person that always teach me a lesson.

A person that always inspired me to be better me.



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